Sometimes, I think I’m the luckiest guy on earth. Realizing our then-apartment in West Hollywood was a five minute walk from one of LA’s premier vegan restaurants: Real Food Daily. This place has such cachet that everybody from Moby to Nicole Richie have chowed down on its much-hyped, overpriced and bland food, served in about the most unfriendly environment possible.

But, the arrogant owners and servers here don’t care — why should they? The place usually has a 15-20 minute wait at peak times and at the prices they charge probably brings in a tidy profit due to all the fashionable faux-vegans that frequent the place.

The restaurant is full of people who take a million years to order (if you’ve never been to a vegan restaurant before, it can be confusing ordering a protein that hasn’t been butchered to death). Actual quotes I’ve heard from patrons are:

• “Does the burger actually taste like a real burger?”
• “What is Satan?” (sic)
• “What do you have that will remind me of a chicken salad?”
• “Is that, like, soft tofu? Like in Pho?”

 
Seriously. This is Hollywood. You’re in an ‘in’ place that people will go to out of pure curiosity value, and because the renewed social focus on being outwardly environmentally friendly is all the rage (leave your Range Rover in the garage, and derive your Prius to RFD, please!). The beef I have with RFD is on multiple counts. First, the tables are cramped and waaaay too close together. How do you think I picked up those juicy quotes above? Second, the staff are usually dismissive and nasty and will absolutely REFUSE to seat two people at a four-top table, even when the place is next to empty.

Also, I once put my name on the list for a table and was asked to “Wait outside”, while others came in after me and were encouraged to sit at the bar while waiting for their table. I hate that! Also (and, yes, food comments coming up after the jump) I’ve been there four times in my life, and each time the bathroom has had no soap in the dispenser… each time I’ve told my waiter and NEVER has it been replenished.
 
On a recent trip there, we were in a basic and light eating mood so we thought we’d go for some sushi, a wrap and a salad. Well, we we completely DUPED! Here’s a picture of the sushi… is there anything in particular you notice?

Yes, hopefully you notice that the $13 sushi is predominantly rice — including the piece up above that’s ENTIRELY rice - there was nothing else in there. The sauce is soy with green onions chopped into it (and I think I’m unimaginative), with the usual sides of canned wasabi and bottled gari. The sushi was even rolled the cheap and way with the nori on the outside. Even I can make that!

So, we ploughed on through to the main course: a salad and a wrap. Well, the wrap was a complete disappointment, being some kind of leaf with a lot of air and cucumber inside it (ounce for ounce, cucumber must be the least expensive food item there is as it’s cheap and heavy). Look at the picture - it really does it an over-justice as I’m used to pointing my Leica at food and trying to make it look as good as possible:

Yes, it is as empty as it looks. Not that I’m worried as it was relatively inexpensive at only $8. Glad I didn’t get an optional $5 side - I might have fucking exploded.

OK, finally the salad arrived. Oh, it came on a big plate. Oh it was green. OH IT LOOKS LARGE! See for yourself:

I’m absolutely convinced that this salad came right out of a bag that they bought from Ralph’s. It’s like those “ready made salads” they sell… stunningly like a coleslaw mix or “garden mixed salad”. There was a peanut dressing, but it tasted like it came from a bottle — which it probably did. And, of course, 30% or more of the volume of the dish was CHOPPED CUCUMBER. See above for the economic argument for that.

You don’t believe me? Look at the close-up:

I’m absolutely serious. The entire meal was just shy of $30 (with only tap water to drink). The neighbors at the next table (about 9 inches from ours) were having a fight: “Why did you bring me here?” “I thought you were a vegan?”, there was no soap in the bathroom, service was impossibly snooty, the food took forever to arrive, the rude bus boy snapped up my shit from behind without waiting for me to move out of the way and every staff member looked like they could not care less that we were there.

And, yes, this is a considered opinion. I’ve been there for dinner several times and lunch once. It’s overpriced, full of assholes (staff and patrons — myself included) the bottled beer selection sucks, the wine is cheap exotic stuff you’ve never heard of (hence the 300% mark-up for the uninformed).

On the whole, RFD might well be a gateway drug to veganism for the masses, instead it lets us down in a big, bad way. What else can you expect from a restaurant owned by Danny DeVito’s ex-personal chef. He was hardly a picture of health and fitness:

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