sometimes i just want greasy, oily mexican food that makes me remember what it was like to be a vegetarian. unfortunately, i can’t trust the stuff at conventional mex restaurants, and a lot of the veganized establishments offer dishes that are a bit too healthy-tasting. so i’ve decided to take matters into my own hands and create a masterpiece of junk food with no redeeming qualities except for a few tomatoes, and the fact it tastes ridiculously fine. vegan homemade nachos! so yummy, despite the fact that all i had on hand was follow your heart cheese.

now, imho, what sets these apart from the countless vegan nachos in everywhere else you’ve ever eaten, is that these include homemade chips. most restaurants smother store-bought corn varieties (from the bag) in vegan cheddar and all the fixins, leaving people like me 10 minutes and 1,000 calories short of satisfaction. now, while cool places like pure luck have the homemade chip thing down, they don’t even provide a nachos options. wtf! that’s where quarrygirl comes in: care-free, greasy, unforgivable homemade nachos…from the chip to the guacamole.

recipe, pix, and more. all after the jump.

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i’ve ruined 2 blenders in 2008…both were the victims of this exact hummus recipe. i won’t go into detail about how i wrecked them, because it’s far too embarrassing. i think i’ll just give you the recipe and some tips to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen to you. trust me, the hummus recipe is amazing…and if you follow some simple guidelines, you can prepare it with out sacrificing any of your kitchen appliances. i, on the other hand, had to learn the hard way—so the hummus pictured was never actually eaten. i’m sure it would have been damn good though…

step #1, the ingredients.
here’s what you’ll need to make the perfect hummus:
1 can of chickpeas with 1/4 cup of their liquid
2 tablespoons of tahini paste
4 tablespoons of lemon juice
2 tablespoons of olive oil
2 cloves of garlic
1/2 teaspoon of salt

step #2, the mixing.
now that you’ve got the stuff, combine it all in a blender or food processor…

step #3, don’t be a dumbass.
now, here comes an important bit…
before you blend everything together, check to make sure no foreign objects (or loose pieces of the blender itself) are inside the blender. that may lead to hummus that tastes like plastic and smells like burning metal.

step #4, blend.
once you’ve checked all the other boxes, blend the ingredients for about 5 minutes, or until your hummus is a smooth and creamy texture.

(i don’t have a picture of the finished product because while i’ve definitely got steps 1,2, and 4 down, i failed to follow step 3)

good luck! this really is the best hummus if you actually finish it!