It had to happen. PF Chang’s was destined to fall in to the lower quartile of about-to-be-over midscale dining establishments. You can always tell a restaurant on its way up. Usually they’ll have a decent bottle of wine for under $20, and the portions will be hearty, the service will be snappy and the entire establishment will be clean, calm and collected.
How things have changed from when PF Chang’s China Bistro fitted into that category. I recall waiting, on a regular basis, for 90 minutes outside an outlet in Denver. The wait used to be so long that I could get my name on the list, then go to the nearby Park Meadows Mall, drink a beer or two and then return (with bleeper stuffed into my overtight hipster jeans) to the restaurant in order to wait…. and wait…. and….z….zzzzzzzzz.
Well, that was in 1999, and this is now. The PF Chang’s at the Beverly Center in LA is usually half-empty on a Saturday night. The tables that used to be so clean and polished have now lacked the luster — some even have carved in graffiti that’s been there forever. And, over the past year or so, the margin-enhancing, cost-cutting measures have kicked in earnest. Let’s start with my favorite dish: Ma Po Tofu.

This dish is now very small. Sure, enough sodium and fat to keep me in heart disease and obesity (respectively), but a far cry from the Ma Po Tofu of old. You can see in this one that the tofu pieces are larger (but far less) and there’s less sauce and broccoli than there used to be. AND IT GETS WORSE.
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sometimes i forget how great i’ve got it in los angeles—from basically everywhere, i can head in any direction and find myself surrounded by vegan options within minutes. that is so not the case in downtown fresno. fresno is the kind of town where as a vegan, you may find yourself either going hungry or making an emergency call to the nearest pizza hut.

large pizza: hand-tossed crust, extra sauce, mushrooms and olives
i haven’t ordered food from pizza hut in years, but i found out this weekend that it makes the perfect “when-all-else-fails” meal. and if you are drunk and hungry enough, it tastes pretty damn good!
you see, we booked a hotel in downtown fresno on our way up north assuming there would be tons of vegan-friendly options to choose from. i mean anywhere that has a “downtown” area with hotels and shops has got to offer a wide variety of cuisines, right? wrong. fresno’s downtown area is more like a ghost town: shops and restaurants close early and the streets are lined with mostly thrift stores and steak houses. when we arrived at around 9pm, priority #1 was to find a bar…which we did. i think we succeeded in finding the one bar in town that was open, and even then we were the only customers. the bartender was so excited to have us there, he even bought us a free round of drinks. after much mobile yelping and google-mapping, we decided on subway for dinner. it appeared to be the only restaurant within walking distance. however, when we stumbled out of the bar a couple of hours later, all 3 nearby subways had closed. did i mention i feel lucky to live in LA?
we walked back to the hotel, buzzed with empty stomachs and decided on ordering a from the in-house pizza hut we’d seen advertised. however, we were thwarted again when they told us they only served pan dough pizzas. grrrrrrrrr, we’d done our homework and discovered that the pan dough contains milk! the kind employee did however tell us about a local pizza hut that would be closing soon, and suggested we order food from there directly to our room. so that’s just what we did.

when ordering from pizza hut, vegans must remember to order only hand-tossed or thin ‘n crispy dough, and to always request extra sauce. the normal amount of sauce just doesn’t cut it—the pizza tastes way too dry and bready.
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If I feel like spending around $70 on dinner for two in a nice restaurant where I can take my time to enjoy good wine and awesome vegan food, the Il Fornaio chain is always a good bet. I’ve been to outlets in San Francisco, Denver, Vegas, NYC, LA and, most recently, Seattle. Each has a slightly different atmosphere, but the same menu, quality and good service. AND, they understand what “vegan” means.

Capellini al Pomodoro: Angel hair pasta, chopped fresh roma tomatoes, marinara sauce and fresh basil. $12.95
While my main dish is always the Capellini al Pomodoro, I usually order a bottle of wine, and pig out on the fresh bread and olive oil they serve upon arrival. In fact, this is the BEST fresh bread and olive oil available in any restaurant I’ve ever been to, especially the outlet in Vegas (its bakery is adjacent).

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I buy most groceries that I can from Ralph’s here in Southern California, and wine is no exception. Once the bastion of exclusive vintners, wine is now a commodity where quantity (of New World wines) and quality have driven down price to a point where a very decent bottle can be bought for well under $10. It’s been that way for a while, actually, but the key here is that I don’t WANT my wine to taste like it cost under $10. I don’t mind it tasting like it cost $20, or even $14 but $2.99 isn’t going to cut it with me.

So, the trick is to find the best loyalty program with the best selection of wine that you can consistently find whenever you run low. I’ve found that Ralph’s has just that. Here’s a story about how I bought 24 bottles of wine worth $141.34 for only $81.22 — a saving of $60.12, or an average of around $5 a bottle. AND IT DOESN’T STOP THERE!
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There are a few chain restaurants, found in most US towns and cities that can serve vegans very well.
Sometimes we like the predictability of a known dining experience, and “the PF” certainly provides that. What you’ll find in every restaurant is a waiting line (although shorter than they used to be, and reservations can now be phoned ahead) and a nice table in a dark room usually with a spotlight in your face from a mile above your head. Although seating can be efficient, a 10 minute wait for your server to initially materialize is commonplace on busy nights - especially weekends.
Vegan appetizers include Lettuce Wraps and Steamed Dumplings (both very good).
My favorite vegan entree (in fact the only one I’ve ever had in the hundreds of times I’ve been to P.F. Chang’s - see picture above) is Ma Po Tofu, an amazing well flavored and presented interpretation of the classic Chinese dish (which usually contains pork).
Note that the kitchen is VERY efficient at preparing food (banks of microwaves?) and is usually way faster at getting it to your table than you are at eating it, or than your server is to bring your drinks. On more than one occasion I’ve ordered drinks, appetizer and entree at the same time to have the appetizer arrive first, followed shortly after by the entree and then the wine as I’m half done with the entree. I recommend ordering serially, wait for something to arrive before you order the next thing.
Also, note that the wine is horrendously marked up. A bottle of Night Harvest Cabernet that I can get for $4.75 with my Ralph’s club discount card costs a whopping $26.50. For the mathematicians out there that’s a five zillion percent mark-up.
No vegan deserts, so fill up by adding some side dishes - the Spinach Stir Fried With Garlic and Asparagus are very good, as are Buddha’s Vegetables.